We will break the ice with how to deal with children in spirituality. In most African Traditional Religions there is a key aspect and even a spirit revolving around children and the protection of them. Legba, Elegua, Lucero, etc. This is indicative of the need to be inclusive of them, not exclusionary. In order to be inclusive of the children, the atmosphere needs to be safe for children. This is the why behind so many of our rules. It is important to understand that children in spirituality are not less than by virtue of being a child, they are equals. They are people with a complete spirituality, ancestors, spirit guides and spiritual gifts just like any other person, including adults. Where they are largely lacking is in the experience department, which they will hopefully develop as they grow older and practice. This makes it so the only way in which a child is treated as lesser than is the same as with all others, based on experience. For example, A 10 year old with 5 years experience is considered to be an elder above a 40 year old with 2 years experience. In this structure you can really start to see how children are complete people too, not partial people that are still forming.

The most complicated part about children in spirituality will always be teaching them. Children are constantly in a state of learning. Their minds are inquisitive and due to being overwhelmed, their behaviors can be erratic. As adults and possibly elders in traditions, we have to be the ones willing to extend patience and grace to others that are the most needing of it in our communities. Children are in a really hard place. They are filled with all these emotions, thoughts, having all these experiences but don’t know how to deal with it. That is still even without bringing in the spiritual aspect, which complicates things further. It is widely understood that children need structure, consistency and examples. The best form of teaching is by embodying what it is you want them to learn. There is no amount of explanation that will teach as well as showing. The providing of structure makes it so they know the bounds of how and when to move and what to do. The consistency helps them internalize these teachings because the repetition helps them view things from different angles and in different ways. If you hold to those three pillars while also remembering to give children grace to get a hold of this whole new world, they will learn quite effectively. These pillars are also extremely effective on adults, setting a golden standard for all.

Maintaining a safe space for children is vital to their growth, not just spiritually but in all aspects. In so many cases of people we consult we see grown adults with spiritual gifts that they have had since childhood but their parents did not nurture those gifts and instead pushed back on them saying they were the child’s imagination or simply did not happen. These experiences over the course of years can lead the child to ignore their own gifts and as an adult struggle to reconnect. Once they finally do, they feel this sense of lost time. It is also worth noting that this is one of the main factors behind why in most African Traditional Religions, there is no connection between spirituality and sexuality. The risk of children being abused by those who should be protecting them is too great. Once again, all of these things also apply to adults, without issues. The same risk children have, adults who are newer would have when sexuality and spirituality are intertwined in these traditions. In providing a safe space for children, we provide a safe space for all others. A safe space should be structured and based on equality, empathy and trust. Children should be regarded as equals in a spiritual sense because their spirituality can easily outweigh even that of many adults. One has to empathize with the members of their communities, even the young, if they wish to truly create a safe space. The final pillar is trust and without trust, there is nothing. It is critical that we stress the trust portion. If children cannot trust their surroundings, they will not grow, learn or participate in their spiritual path.

All of these things can be easily stated but application is always much more complicated than making statements. One has to understand that nobody is perfect, we are all figuring out life at every stage of life. Even the elders are learning how to be elders as they go. While we may know pillars and concepts, putting them in place can be a struggle and it is okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and continue to improve and grow.

Most spiritual traditions and African Traditional Religions have long histories with taking privacy very seriously. Some would say that privacy was a newer addition to the traditions that came to be added right around where slavery entered the picture but they would be mistaken. When slavery was thrust upon the practitioners of these African Traditional Religions, the need for privacy was just emphasized but it was already a prevalent and understood concept. This is because there have always been levels of initiations, including priesthood. Priesthood is not something that should be taken lightly, the mysteries of being an elder come at the cost of a high degree of devotion coupled with extensive ceremonies. This high degree of devotion bestows upon a priest certain secrets that should be preserved because it is the role of a priest to guide, teach and protect others. As part of their role, they are supposed to know certain things that go well beyond the understanding of an average devotee of these traditions. A lot of this wisdom is kept private for the purpose of keeping the average devotee from having to carry any undue burdens as well as to keep the boundaries and roles between a devotee and a priest or elder clear and concise. When the slave trade was thrust upon practitioners of these African Traditional Religions, the need for privacy became even greater than before. This is due to the prevalence of persecution of religious beliefs that also came with slavery. In other words, they weren’t allowed to believe in whatever they wanted. So they had to use privacy to hide their beliefs behind whatever beliefs they were told they must have. But as we stated earlier, this was not the first time historically that these practitioners saw the necessity of spiritual privacy.

The differences between practitioners and their understanding privacy as well as their enforcing of privacy standards are different from one to another. This can also be greatly impacted by what exactly it is that they practice. It is important to note that while many people position themselves as spiritual leaders, some are firmly believers of the saying “spiritual not religious” and so their definition of spiritual privacy would be completely different than that of a practitioner of an African Traditional Religion that actually takes the religious beliefs to heart. It is important to note that if someone is not practicing a religious belief, there is no legal backing for their definition of spiritual privacy and they can be legally compelled to testify in court. Where someone that does in fact practice an actual religion as a priest or elder has a legal backing for their definition of spiritual privacy and they cannot be legally compelled to testify in a court. Due to this big difference and the fact that one is a structured and understood religion while the other is more of a free-for-all anti-religion, people who tend to lean towards “spiritual not religious” practices do not have a set standard, they come with a mixed bag of beliefs and so their definitions for concepts from one to another can be greatly different, even if both of them use the same terminology. This is not to say someone that is not a practitioner of a religious belief cannot hold your privacy to a high standard, this is to say that they don’t all automatically do it and even if they do, there is only so much privacy you can have because their beliefs as well as yours are not religious and so they do not have any legal protections. It is important to know these differences as they can mean the world to you and you wouldn’t even be are of these differences.

Even further there are concepts where privacy is actually used as a form of spiritual protection. You have to understand that the more people know about you, the more they know about how to bring you harm or cause you misfortune. This is a belief that is shared among many different African Traditional Religions. The response to such a thing is naturally to remain as private as possible in spaces and with people of whom you do not have enough trust. This creates a barrier that makes it so that not every stranger in the world has the ability to just randomly find all the information of your life so easily. They would have to search and move and hop over so many hurdles just to find what they need, which is basically like creating a barrier for entry in which only the people that are truly motivated and have experience can even proceed to cause misfortunes. It is important to note that some people, like ourselves, even go as far as requiring signed Non-Disclosure Agreements before we reveal anything sensitive. This is an added layer of protection that has become a necessity in the fabric of modern times because there are many people who would seemingly wish to partake in religious beliefs and may not be the right fit for the Temple. There have been many such cases where people are expelled from religious Temples for their bad deeds, their inability to stay within the rules of the religious beliefs, their poor moral character or a list of other reasons and are seemingly distraught by the rejection. Which would lead them to not only slander against whole religions and Temples but also to reveal sensitive information about practitioners, which is yet another bad behavior further proving that they were not meant to be part of those Temples or religious beliefs.

Seeing as how we use privacy as a form of protection, a person that is unable to keep with privacy standards is a person that is exceedingly unfit for the spiritual path and even more so when discussing African Traditional Religions. If you hear unverified rumors and gossip about spiritual people or priests and elders of African Traditional Religions from someone spiritual and close to you, the very first thing you should question is the person next to you and their capacity to actually be spiritual. You should also understand that their behavior goes directly against African Traditional Religions and some other non-religious beliefs as well. This is because back in the days, these kinds of behaviors could have been a death sentence and in more modern times can be used a weapon to persecute entire Temples and religions. It is also important to note that these behaviors when done against actual religious organizations can hold actual value of losses, such as damages and can lead to legal consequences, which you would want to stay away from. This is to say that gossip and slander are not acceptable behaviors or reasoning for exposing private information of others and never have been but someone that has a genuine issue and addresses the issue seeking help is completely normal. The line is in the difference between someone slandering, gossiping or genuinely seeking help. When someone approaches you making accusations and providing private information about others that they may have obtained due to their spiritual proximity to others but there is nothing to their claims, you should question how long before you have your private information being discussed by the same person because they are not capable of holding to the concept of spiritual privacy and once upon a time they were close to the persons or people they are now speaking about, just as they are now close to you.

First, we want to give a disclaimer that not everything I will mention is exactly the same for all houses and some do things somewhat different but all the core concepts and steps are still taken. We also would like to add that nothing said herein is meant to offend or disrespect anyone, just educate people as to the proper protocols towards initiation into the traditional religion of Nkisi Malongo or Palo Mayombe.

The first step to initiating is digging within your own self and seeing if you even resonate with the traditional religion. I cannot stress enough that this traditional religion is not for everyone! You do this by interacting with people who are actively practicing members, not from what someone from another tradition said. Take your time, get to know Palo Mayombe and its openly known concepts. See if this even fits in with you and sits right on your soul. Remember that someone or something from outside Palo Mayombe cannot tell you if you need to initiate into Palo Mayombe. An Ifa reading, a Misa and even a random Psychic Medium cannot just determine this and to make such an affirmation would be a display of their complete lack of respect for Palo Mayombe.

The next step is to find an elder (Tata or Yaya) that resonates with you and do the same. Spend time with them, observe them, learn from them. Talk to them and ask questions. Take your time here, there is no rush to this process and rushing is catastrophic because it can lead you to be with elders you cant stand or fakes, scams, frauds etc. The key here is to not have a specific time frame of when you want to observe and more so just casually be present and get to know them, however long that does or doesn’t take.

Once you have resolved in your heart that Palo Mayombe is for you and you have found the elder that actually works for you, you must come to their spirits in person and do a reading or divination and ask them certain initiatory questions. This cannot be done remotely, this cannot be done via other traditions and this cannot be guessed on, it is something that can affect your whole life and needs to be taken very seriously. Please keep in mind that even if someone did have a “Kongo spirit” show up in a Misa or a Psychich Medium sees these kinds of spirits around them often, it does not necessarily means they must initiate into Palo Mayombe.

This is where some houses do things differently, the questions asked. For the most part, from my experience the questions are usually the same and just worded differently with exception of one and we will discuss that one when we arrive at that one.

The questions:
1) Does this person have a path in Nkisi Malongo (Palo Mayombe)?
2) Does this person have a path in this Munanzo (Spiritual House)?
3) Does this person need any Misas?
3a) If so, how many?

Lets start with the first one. This question is a flat out yes or no question asking if you belong in Palo Mayombe at all. This question is often a formality because you can pretty much know the answer judging by your resonating with the religion and an elder already. It is still a necessary part of the journey though and should still always be asked. If this question is skipped, you can find yourself initiated but not really welcomed by the spirits. This can be a really miserable circumstance because they will not acknowledge you. Keep in mind, this is one of the main reasons why Ifa, Misas and Psychic Readings cannot determine if someone should initiate into Palo Mayombe. These systems in and of themselves are not recognized as a part of this traditional religion and so their input is also not recognized.

The second question is asked to determine how the elder’s spirits feel about you. Will they grant you access to their nation? Do they feel that your path lies within this tribe of people? Are your interests and the elders interest in alignment? The simple existence of this question further proves that Ifa, Misas and Psychic Readings cannot tell you whether you should initiate into Palo Mayombe or not because they are not specifically asking with which house and they cannot. In this religion, each house is its own nation. You cant issue a blanket term for all of the above especially if you’re not even a part of one to begin with.

The last question is a bit of a controversial one, some houses ask the question and others don’t. There are some houses that do not ask the question hold a mandatory number of Misas (mostly just one) before proceeding. There are also some houses that do ask the question receive a “no” and they do not hold any misa for the future initiate. In our lineage, we ask the spirits and do what they say to the letter. There are even people saying that you cannot ask Palo Mayombe spirits about Misas because they are not the same tradition. The issue is that Palo Mayombe spirits are absolutely a part of your spiritual court and they do hold weight within the Boveda because Espiritismo is open and inclusive of all spirit guides, including Bakongo. We speak to them in the protocol they established (readings or divinations) but they can speak on Espiritismo because they too are part of Espiritismo. The Misa is actually done to give any spirits of the initiate the opportunity to understand the ceremonies that are about to take place and object if they do not agree with these ceremonies taking place.

There are more questions can be asked but these are the basics and the bare minimum needed to correctly proceed on the journey to initiation.

Once you have asked the questions, you must then do the Misas (if any) to prepare for the next step on your journey to initiation.

The final step on this journey revolves around the actual ceremony that is the rites-of-passage and grants access to wisdom and authority. While we will not speak too much on this ceremony because this is a private ceremony, we will mention that the ceremony goes on for about 24 hours before being completed. Once this ceremony is completed, you are an initiate. There is no probationary period or anything similar in Palo Mayombe.

In recent times many people have been sprouting up seemingly out of nowhere claiming to be psychic mediums and have been making a very lucrative living off the assertion that psychic mediums are real. This has lead to many people questioning, “are psychic mediums real?” Without a doubt the people are real but are these gifts that they claim to have real? To understand this phenomena you would have to start by breaking down the words, digging at their history and then piecing together the missing parts and comparing them to what other spiritual beliefs around the world may hold to be true.

Let’s get to the meat and bones, the terminology of psychic medium. It is worth noting that in this terminology there are two words and we should break them down individually and see what they mean in relation to each other. The term psychic is of Greek origin, derived from psychikos, which means “of the mind” or “mental” and holds no connection to anything spiritual in particular. There are examples of the word psychikos being used within the context defined and being highly respected, Psychology being one. Psychology being the study of the mind and behaviors. Psychiatry being another such example, in which it is the branch of modern medicine focused on the study, diagnosis and treatment of mental illness. French astronomer and spiritualist Nicolas Camille Flammarion is credited with having first used the word psychic. When we look into his spiritual beliefs of modern spiritualism, it is clear that his definition lent itself more to a spiritual purpose rather than the traditional definition of psychikos. Perhaps his usage of the word in such a context sparked the frenzy of controversy surrounding the word today. Either way, in today’s understanding of the word psychic, the majority of people understand it to have a definition of “having abilities to see the future” or something to that effect.

Now for the break down of the word “medium.” According to Google Definition as provided by Oxford Languages, the word medium can be taken to mean “an agency or means to doing something” or “about halfway between two extremes” in which either definition can be used in the context of what people use the word for. As means to do something, the terminology of psychic medium could be taken to mean a sort of mind vessel. As a halfway between two extremes, the terminology of psychic medium could be taken to mean a mind that bridges two extremes. These two different definitions may seem fairly similar but they are drastically different and we will get to that in a bit. There really isn’t much left to discuss about this particular word because this one is not the controversial word. It is a widely known, understood and used word in so many different contexts. That leaves us moving into the digging into histories.

While digging into history was already partially underway in defining these words, we have to dig deeper. We have to find what exactly people meant these things to be in order to determine whether these things are real in the first place. Seeing as how Nicolas Camille Flammarion was the first to use the word on record, we should dig into that subject more. Nicolas Camille Flammarion approached modern spiritism from a scientific approach and was a known close friend of Allan Kardec, the “founder” of modern spiritism. As has been previously discussed, Hippolyte Léon Denizard Rivail was an appropriator of other people’s spiritual practices. He would study others, document their practices and then claim that they were his own original works behind the pen name “Allan Kardec.” The principles that he documented were largely observed due to the thorough nature of his documentation, in which he asserted a great many things about the spiritual world based on the beliefs of others. This would put our subject Nicolas Camille Flammarion in the company of someone that was known to appropriate other peoples beliefs within his lifetime and with the openly known knowledge of his practice of modern spiritism, it would put him among the ranks of the many who partook in such appropriations. Modern spiritism would give a rise to a great many people of European descent who would openly claim that they too are “psychic” and “mediums” in which they were the uniquely equipped, they had a rare ability to be the mind that contacts the spirits in the spirit world. This gift was not one available to everyone and was an exclusive to just people with the physical trait or gift of psychic ability.

Taking a step back and seeing all these pieces as a complete puzzle is a necessity to see where the pieces need to be connected. We see the terminology of “psychic medium” being brought up for the first time in recorded history by a person who practiced spiritism, who was a close friend of the founder of spiritism, who founded spiritism around the end times of the Transatlantic Slave Trade, based on his observations of spiritual practices in America and Europe, we see the rise of the term “psychic medium” to mean an elite group of people with special physical gifts that make them more than the average person, and we see that there was a distinct definition of these words among them to mean “the mind vessel of spirits.” There was even mention of people who were of Latin or Anglo Saxon descent and had already used the word “spirtism” in other languages, like Spanish having “Espiritismo”, but they did not use it in everyday forms until Allan Kardec declared it his own, thus giving rise to those same people incorporating it into their everyday life to mean everything spiritual. The delusions of grandeur had no limit as it may seem for Allan Kardec, appropriating words to define and name appropriated beliefs. Moving forward, it seems the nomenclature has become widely accepted and even respected by many due to the various people who have come forward and earned themselves a place within celebrity groups on the strength of their spiritual ability or their identity as psychic mediums.

The oddity in all of this is the definition of medium having a second meaning of “halfway between two extremes” and the people of whom the spiritual beliefs originally belonged to and their identifying with this specific definition over the other. Espiritismo is one example in which the writings of Allan Kardec reached but did not persuade. This is because Espiritismo is Spiritism in English. This spiritism predates Allan Kardec’s own and is indeed born out of the necessity to survive slavery in Cuba and the sharpening of Mediumship. There is a high possibility in which some of what Allan Kardec portrayed to be his came directly from Espiritismo and the two do go by the same name and share similar beliefs and practices. It is widely taboo for any practitioners of Espiritismo to call themselves Psychic at all, let alone Psychic Mediums, though the original definition of Psychikos would absolutely describe what exactly they are. They are people that use their mind (Psychikos), to bridge the two extremes, the world of the living and the world of the dead (Medium). To read more about Espiritismo, I would highly advise you get yourself a copy of The Espiritismo Field Manual, which goes over this subject in more detail.

To bring this article to an end I guess I would say Psychic Mediums are very real. There is just a distinction between where their beliefs come from and what they mean when they say that they are Psychic Mediums. In many cases, people that are separated from the source of spirituality tend to suffer from a less refined and accurate spiritual practice where people who are closer to the source are more refined and accurate. It is worthy of noting that in Espiritismo everyone has the capacity to be a Medium and therefore being a “Psychic Medium” is not a unique trait or rare marker of elite spiritual people. Just as those practitioners would simply call themselves “Medium” instead of “Psychic Medium” but their practice is likely to be the source of the spiritism that gave birth to the terminology of “Psychic Medium.” All this to say, no two Psychic Mediums are alike, some can be exponentially better than others and some can just call themselves Mediums.

There is a question that has been brought to me several times recently and I wanted to address it in an open and in-depth manner so that people can be aware of the correct steps that are taken in order to actually initiate into “Palo Mayombe” or Nkisi Malongo.

First, I want to give a disclaimer that not everything I will mention is exactly the same for all houses and some do things somewhat different but all the core concepts and steps are still taken.

The first step to initiating is digging within your own self and seeing if you even resonate with the traditional religion. I cannot stress enough that this traditional religion is not for everyone! You do this by interacting with people who are actively practicing members, not from what someone from another tradition said. Take your time, get to know the traditional religion and its openly known concepts. See if this even fits in with you and sits right on your soul.

The next step is to find an elder (Tata or Yaya) that resonates with you and do the same. Spend time with them, observe them, learn from them. Talk to them and ask questions. Take your time here, there is no rush to this process and rushing is catastrophic because it can lead you to be with elders you cant stand or fakes, scams, frauds etc. In some cases, I have seen people observing an elder upwards of a year to really get a feel for them.

Once you have resolved in your heart that this traditional religion is for you and you have found the elder that actually works for you, you must come to their spirits in person and do a reading/divination and ask them certain initiatory questions. This cannot be done remotely, this cannot be done via other traditions and this cannot be guessed on. Ifa cannot tell you if you belong in Palo Mayombe. You cannot be told that you must initiate to Palo Mayombe via a Misa. These are unacceptable mediums because they are overstepping boundaries and making determinations for a tradition that they are not. The only real and correct way is to come and sit in front of the Nganga of the elder you specifically feel comfortable with and ask that spirit the questions about initiation. Only Palo Mayombe can answer whether or not someone belongs in Palo Mayombe.

This is where some houses do things differently, the questions asked. For the most part, from my experience the questions are usually the same and just worded differently with exception of one and we will discuss that one when we arrive at that one.

The questions:
1) Does this person have a path in Nkisi Malongo?
2) Does this person have a path in this Munanzo?
3) Does this person need any Misas?
3a) If so, how many?

Lets start with the first one. This question is a flat out yes or no question asking if you belong in the traditional religion at all. This question is often a formality because you can pretty much know the answer judging by your resonating with the traditional religion and an elder already. It is still a necessary part of the journey though and should still ALWAYS be asked. If this question is skipped, you can find yourself initiated but not really welcomed by the spirits. This can be a really miserable circumstance because they will not acknowledge you. Keep in mind, this is one of the main reasons why Ifa and Misas cannot determine if someone should initiate into Nkisi Malongo. These systems in and of themselves are not recognized as a part of this traditional religion and so their input is also not recognized.

The second question is asked to determine how the elder’s spirits feel about you. Will they grant you access to their nation? Do they feel that your path lies within this tribe of people? Are your interests and the elders interest in alignment? The simple existence of this question further proves that Ifa and Misas cannot tell you whether you should initiate into Nkisi Malongo or not because they are not specifically asking with which house. In this religion, each house is its own nation. You cant issue a blanket term for all of the above especially if you’re not even a part of one to begin with.

The last question is a bit of a controversial one, some people ask the question and others dont. I have seen cases where people that do not ask the question hold a mandatory number of Misas (mostly just one) before proceeding. I have seen cases where people that do ask the question receive a no and they do not hold any misa for the future initiate. I will say that I feel much more comfortable with just asking the spirits and doing what they say to the letter. I have even heard of people saying that you cannot ask Palo spirits about Misas because they are not the same tradition. The issue is that Palo spirits are absolutely a part of your spiritual court and they do hold weight within the Boveda because Espiritismo is open and inclusive of all spirit guides. You speak to them in the protocol they established (readings/divinations) but they can speak on Espiritismo because they too are part of Espiritismo. The Misa is actually done to give any spirits of yours the opportunity to understand the ceremonies that are about to take place and object if they do not agree with these ceremonies taking place.

I want you to keep in mind that more questions can be asked but these are the basics and the bare minimum needed to correctly proceed on the journey to initiation.

Once you have asked the questions, you must then do the Misas (if any) to prepare for the next step on your journey to initiation.

The final step involves some more private rituals and ceremonies of which I am not willing to discuss openly but I will say that I have nicknamed this step “The Longest Day of Your Life” because you will be doing alot of ceremonies and rituals pretty much into the next day. Once you have completed this step, your journey to initiation ends and your journey towards learning and growing as a practitioner begins.